In July, I wrote an article "10 Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend". I've gotten a lot of positive responses and some real questions from women who are trying to extricate themselves from a relationship that just isn't working. I believe that a woman can be as strong as she wants to be (so can men but I'm speaking to the ladies right now). If you have seen the writing on the wall but is still looking for a reason to get on with your life, I'm about to drop the knowledge on you.
Think of the children.
If you think staying in a relationship that doesn't work is a BENEFIT for your child/children, you are very wrong. A happy one-parent household has an unhappy two-parent household beat every time. If you love your children, don't let them see you beat, hurt, degraded another minute. Children who grow up in that kind of environment are more likely to think that that is the kind of environment acceptable for their children. You can break the cycle of abuse. Put the happiness and the mental well-being of your children FIRST.You can have more than one love of a lifetime.
I have personally been in love THREE times; deeply, madly in love. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that that will be the ONLY man you will ever love. It just SEEMS that way. Just like grief, love fades over time. You have to give yourself the time to heal your heart after you realize the person you love may not be deserving of that love. You don't have to settle for "sick" love just because he may be the first.You are not that desperate.
No matter what, you are not DESPERATE. You can and will do better for yourself as soon as you realize that you can. You NEED to get your confidence back. Ask yourself: is this the kind of person I'd thought I'd be? If the answer is no, you can change your circumstances.He can give you a disease.
If your man is cheating, the likelihood he'll give you a disease is very high. Is your LIFE and HEALTH worth it?You can smile again.
Aren't you tired of crying yourself to sleep? NO MORE CRYING! Wipe those tears: they never helped anyone and they aren't going to make your situation better. Once you are no longer dealing with the person that makes you cry, you can be happy again. You can't be sad about the person hurting you if they are no longer part of your life.You can do the things you've always wanted to do.
Have you been holding yourself back to make your man happy? If you now realize that you have mortgaged your future for someone who didn't deserve it, you don't have to continue doing it. If you wanted to go back to school, start a business, follow your dream-DO IT! Personal happiness is better than even relationship happiness because NO ONE will ever be able to take that from you.He'll never change.
If you are still holding out the hope that your man will change, he won't. If you are unwilling to change and ignore his behavior, what makes you think that he'll want to? It's easier to find someone closer to your ideal than to make someone over into it. YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM.You are not the person he WANTS you to be.
One of hardest things to do is to try to become someone we know we are not. No matter how domineering or insistent, we just can't change who we are unless we want to. You have to ask yourself, do you want to change who you are just to make someone else happy? You shouldn't have to.Love doesn't hurt.
I love my boyfriend. We sometimes argue. What do we argue about? Who would make a better president, the possibility of life in the universe, and whether we should get a bike frame for him or a new iPod for me. We don't argue about where he was last night, who was that who just called or mysterious scratches on his back. A healthy relationship will have arguments. The arguments won't be hurtful screaming matches that escalate into a brawl. Two people in love realize that life is hard enough and agree to take up the yoke together for the benefit of each other. LOVE DOESN'T HURT.You ARE special.
'nough said.
