You meet a man, you hit it off and there’s talk of drinks or dinner. You two really connect. You have lots in common, you find each other wildly attractive and he is so interested in you, you think you might explode. He seems absolutely perfect. But how do you know for sure that he is single? Here are some clues that should raise red flags and make you ask some hard questions.
You've Never Seen His Place
After a date or two, it seems reasonable that he'd invite you over to his home. Maybe he'd fix you dinner or the two of you would watch a movie and eat popcorn - any number things. However, if you're always finding that you start or end up at your place, this is a clue that his home may not be so available to entertaining girlfriends. An even bigger hint of this is when his home would be more convenient and he's willing to drive to yours instead.
You Expect Him to Call, Yet He Doesn't
A married man can often find his plans have changed without his knowledge - these things happen. But if you're expecting him to call and he doesn't and you're not so sure his explanation is reasonable or plausible, don't give him too many breaks.
He Never Makes Plans With You Too Far in Advance
You may think this spur of the moment man is cool and exciting, but the real reason may be something completely different. If he finds that his wife has made other plans and will be occupied, you may suddenly be the recipient of a quick call to meet or go out. Spontaneity is fun, but you also want to make sure your guy can make plans and follow through with them.
Avoiding Your Questions
If you're texting or emailing yet he never seems to answer your questions. Watch out! This guy may be avoiding the truth and trying to cover his omissions by being cute and flirty.
Moves to Sex Too Quickly
Is this new guy a smooth talker? Does he turn every conversation toward sex or sensuality? Does he seem to be pursuing you as if he has nothing to lose? Remember, a married man already has a relationship. If he's looking for a woman while married, he's looking primarily for a sexual relationship. A married man trolling for a girlfriend is going to be more sexually suggestive and will move the relationship toward the physical side much faster than a single man who, because he has no wife to go home to, has much more to lose in beginning a relationship.
None of these alone means anything out of the ordinary. However, a married man who is looking for action on the side isn't necessarily an honest person. Keep your eye and ears open and when you start to feel that something is off, it's time to ask the question point blank: Are you married?
The easiest way to find out if he is married is to ask for his home phone number. If he doesn't want to give it to you then you know he's married.
#2 by angelstar, Aug 3, 2008
great article and so true - I wrote this a while back for Helium and your insights struck a cord with me immediately. http://www.helium.com/items/817145-signs-your-husband-is-cheating-on-you
