I haven't dated every type of guy out there, but in my time I've dated enough types, made enough mistakes, and figured out exactly what I want. However, I didn't want all that self-reflection to go to waste, so I thought I'd put down my experiences if for nothing more than entertainment value.
Despite my attitude towards everything else in life, when it comes to dating, I'm not the go-getter. I'm the complacent one. I'd rather miss out on the opportunity than risk getting hurt *again*. Why is this? Well, for starters, I'm not unhappy being single. In fact, I'm perfectly happy in my singledom. But that doesn't mean I'm opposed to a relationship. It just means I have a lower risk threshold. I'm not willing to risk much just for a shot at a relationship. I'd have to be pretty friggin sure that he's worth it. I don't have to be sure that it'll work out, because there's no way to be sure of that. I just have to be pretty sure that I won't regret my decision to give it a shot. I hate regrets.
In my dating life, I've only completely thrown caution to the wind once, and I learned that luck is not on my side. So now, I always have to force myself to *think* first before agreeing to anything.
Here are some of the guy types on my dating resume... and (more importantly) why it didn't work out.
The Raver
He is a very nice guy. A little wild. A little crazy. But totally harmless. He's sweet, sensitive, a bit emo, but loves a good party. He'll do crazy things like throw himself out of a plane, or drink until he's teetering on the brink of death from alcohol poisoning, but he'll love you like no one else can. As long as you can put up with all the near death experiences, *this* is a great love.
Unfortunately, I can't put up with the near death experiences so it didn't work out.
The Stalking Doormat
This wasn't quite a dating relationship. This was more just “an experience.” He's the guy that thinks you're even better than sliced bread. He believes that if he's in your face enough, you'll eventually learn to love him. It doesn't quite work that way. But no matter how many times you try to explain this “nicely” it's like he either doesn't understand, or he doesn't believe you (insisting that he is right and continues to be in your face as much as possible). I've since gotten rid of him, but I have on occasion caught him watching me from afar (which is not cool and is extremely creepy). I deleted him off Friendster and blocked him on Facebook, ignored his MSN requests… and I never return phone messages or emails. I think he might still read this blog... and I don't care! Because nothing screams "kiss of death" like creepy.
If a girl thinks you're creepy you have no hope in hell! Even the guy friend that she “loves like a brother” has a better shot than you.
The Pretty & Stupid
This one is my personal favourite. He's the guy that's *hot* like hell but dumb as bricks. Mine was a hot hot bartender and he faithfully served my drinks for 4 years.
But his stupidity and lack of appreciation led to us parting ways
…but I do have many fond memories. And he still makes the best lychee martinis I've ever had. For the alcoholic in me, this divorce was quite tragic.
Side note: No… I didn't date the bartender. But if he had asked anytime within the first 3 years, I totally would have. That last year was a bad year.
The Deadbeat
He's the smooth talker. The guy who's pretty good looking and talks the good talk. He's not the aggressive alpha male who will beat you senseless if you don't do what he asks, but he'll talk you into circles so that you don't realize just how crazy he really is. This one is dangerous… and if you don't get out of this relationship quick, very bad things happen.
And it's because of those bad things that this didn't work out.
The High Schooler
No… I didn't date any jailbait. But, he looked like he was 15 and had the anime spikey hair. I refer to him as Sonic the Hedgehog.
