Text messages. Convenient means for communication or convenient means for non-communication from your man? Think about it. Men are always trying to find ways to keep from having to talk to us. So, what could be better than throwing us a text here and there just to shut us up! I’ve heard plenty of situations where women were so caught up in a whirlwind “messaging ping pong” match, that by the time two months had passed by, they hadn’t realized they only spoke to their loverboy on the phone three times during the entire courtship. If you are going to preserve a relationship, you have to draw the line where text messaging stops being cute and starts to make you feel silly. Here, I identify possible signs he’s just texting you, and not trying to get to know you.
“Hey, didn’t he send me that text yesterday?!”
The Situation: Maybe you thought his “Good Morning, baby” and “What’s Up” texts everyday (sometimes at the same time of the day, everyday) were cute. I know, I know…that’s a very valid feeling to have, but have you ever thought maybe some other 5 or 10 females are getting the same cute note? Yes, ladies, watch out for those forwarded text messages. One time a guy sent me a text and along with it came the list of the ten other ladies he said “I want to see you”, too. Dummy.
His Intention: He’s lazy and doesn’t care or want to care about you. Seriously, you can’t underestimate these men. They are lazy and forwarded messages only facilitate their lack of trying and their ‘woman juggling’ act. Chances are he has relegated you to his “random chick” folder in his Blackberry.
He says “I’m not a phone person”
The Situation: When was the last time he called you, actually picked up the phone and called you to talk? If ten minutes have lapsed thinking about this, something is definitely wrong. I bet he texted you though, right? There has been an overwhelming influx of men who get a ladies’ number, and then follow the “three-day rule” just right before he TEXTS you. A popular excuse is “I’m not a phone person.” If this is how the game begins, call out “foul” to the referee, because he just slapped you with a load of crap. If the man ran his mouth a mile an hour when you two first met, and when you continue to see him he can’t stop talking about himself, then he is damn well a phone person. If not go buy him the book “How to Be a Phone Person for Dummies.”
His Intention: If he only wants to text you, he isn’t trying to get to know you. He’s obviously keeping his distance from you, intimately and mentally. Frankly, he’s probably a liar, too. Not a phone person?! Come on.
“He takes forever to respond to my texts”
The Situation: For all those times men get uncomfortably quiet in a phone conversation, that’s translates to a two-hour or two-day pause in a text message. Like when you ask him “where is this relationship headed?” or “when are we going to go out?”, and he stumbles and stutters over every word, and conveniently manages to leave you confused and without an answer. If you don’t know anything else, know not to ask him important questions in texts. If you do, be prepared to get hit with excuse number one million and two in the ‘man’s text messaging handbook’, “I didn’t get that message.” Honestly, I’d believe him if I were you, because he didn’t get that message. He didn’t want to either. Oh yeah, also watch out for excuse number one million and one “I was busy, I never got the time to answer you back.” Busy is rarely, if ever in an emotionally available man’s vocabulary.
His Intention: He’s avoiding you, period. You see text messages enable him to think too much, instead of giving a direct answer. Those long pauses scream “I don’t really like you”, “You’ll never be my number one” or “At this point, I’m bored with you.”
“We only talk once a week… in text messages”
The Situation: There must be a shortage in men, because I absolutely have no idea how men can get away with just texting us. In a lot of cases, we start out with phone conversations and some how take a turn for the worst and end up in the despondency that is texting. Think about it. How many times have you been in a situation where you were downgraded from a “free-nights-and-weekends” relationship to the “unlimited-texting-plan relationship”? I had a friend who suffered from this same non-verbal abuse. Every week or so, the guy that she was “dating” would send her a “Hey Hun” text, and laughably, that was nearly the extent of their conversations. When she tried to call him, guess what? He doesn’t answer!
His Intention: He probably has a woman, because he doesn’t even have time to pretend he’s interested in you! Yes, it is absolutely possible his interests are in another woman, and his intentions are to make you the other woman.
ATTENTION: When you first meet a guy, tell him you don’t have a text messaging plan. Save yourself the arthritis.
Quick Signs you’re in a Text Messaging Relationship
1. Your thumbs hurt!
2. You constantly get a message saying your inbox is full. When you go to delete the messages, you see they are all from late night texting with “your” man.
3. When something exciting happens at work you text, text, text away to your honey. See, you’ve been trained like a lab monkey. Snap out of it, woman!
4. You call him and he doesn’t pick up. Does he call you back? No! He texts you later, instead.
5. The first time he said ‘I love you’ …you guessed it… was in a text message!
