http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041 Discussion about: 10 Sure Ways to Get Over Him http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment376357
As I've said before, not all relationships are built to last. No matter how good they are (like batteries) some will fade out naturally.

In a relationship where parties were very young when they got together, it's possible for them to grow out of each other. When people mature, their needs and aspirations change. If you're no longer the same person you were 6 years ago (I know I am not), then it is understandable that you require different things from the relationships of which you're a part.

It is right for you to stop talking to him (at least for now) because this is the only way that you'll both allow yourselves to move on.

Take your friends up on their offered support and start going out with them. You're young, and spending time with your girlfriends is what girls your age do. The boy you once knew has grown up into a man who wants things that your relationship can no longer give him. You've provided each other with companionship and love for 6 years. This is positive, not negative. Take it as such. Now you're both better for it and will go on to make other people a good husband/wife, father/mother

Though it may take you longer (than him) to realise this, you will soon enough, when the brunt of the pain has evaporated. YOur friends are right. Time heals the pain.

You will meet a man soon enough who will leave you wondering how you ever thought that you couldn't love again. This will happen, you'll only believe me when it does.

Take yourself out for a pedicure and treat yourself a little. Try the tips in the article. They really do work.

All the best in moving on. It's definitely what you need to do.
Anne]]> Wed, 29 Oct 2008 12:49:29 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment373025 I have been madly in love with the same man for 6 years. We met freshman year of high school, and now we are 20. He recently just transferred colleges to where his best friends are and he\'s kind of starting a new chapter in his life. Over this summer, he started pulling away a little bit and his family, who don\'t think we should be so serious, encouraged him to date other people.

We broke up in August, but for the past 2 months we will had been talking every day and our relationship with each other seemed better than it was than when we were together. We became even closer, but then all of a sudden it stopped. He got stressed with schoolwork and I have a million things on my plate, too. He stopped talkign to me and when I would ask him about it he would just say \"we\'re not bf/gf anymore so I\'m not always going to talk to you\" Therefore, I ended it completely. And he agreed with me when I said that we need to date other people to see if we\'re right for each other

It\'s not like we havent dated other people. we did in high school, but we\'ve been so madly in love for all of college that it seemed irrelevant that we needed to date other people, but now he\'s pretty keen on it. He says he doesn\'t wanna date other people for awhile, he just needs to think about stuff, and then eventually date others, and then maybe, hopefully we\'ll figure out we\'re the right ones for each other.

We have both agreed that we hope we end up together. But if things can be obviously so great between us, then why do we have to go through the agony and jealousy of dating other people? I feel like I would go crazy if I saw him with another person, and he would too.

Now, we\'re not talking because we discovered we\'re not going to move on if we keep talking. The sooner we stop talking, the sooner we can date other people and then see if we\'re the right ones for each other. But I\'m terrified that he won\'t realize I\'m the right one, even though I know I am. I\'m 150% positive. We just work, somehow. We\'ve been through so much together, and all I want is him back. I\'m the one getting so much attention from other men and he\'s not getting any -- so why am I the one who only has eyes for him?

I have a million friends wanting to love and support me, but I still feel so alone. I cry randomly and can\'t perform regular tasks like studying, eating, sleeping normally. Everyone says give it time, but I feel like if I don\'t talk to him, he\'ll forget about me. He hasn\'t discussed his emotions at all, I know how he feels about me but he isn\'t opening up about how he\'s been through all of this at all. I don\'t know whether it\'s intentional or not. Sometimes I feel like I don\'t recognize him the past few weeks. My heart is in pieces and I don\'t know what to do. ]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:35:14 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment343457
You do not want him, you're not in love him, yet you do not want him to move on. What would be your reaction be if he had started dating again, but did not want you to?

I'm not saying that you should give up your chance at romance and true love, but you said yourself that this is a good man, therefore, just as you 'deserve someone who would be your partner in life,' so does he.

Remaining in constant contact is not a good recipe for getting on with your life at all. Neither of you will be able to start afresh while you're still so close.

Make a break. If the friendship is strong enough, pick it back up when you've both gotten over this failed relationship.

About dating, there is no set time. Sometimes,rebound relationships help the healing, at other times, they don't. It's all up to the individuals and the relationships.

Some people need longer to recover, not because of what happened to end the relationship, necessarily, but because of the time that particular individual requires to heal and move on.

You know yourself best, you will know when you're ready.

In the mean time, let go. I have a feeling you're keeping him on a short leash, not ONLY because you want his friendship, but because you feel that if you're not there, he'll meet someone else. Loving is about seeking the best for those we love. Let him go and find someone new, just like you know you want to do.]]> Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:47:30 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment341983 ]]> Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:05:31 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment340299
I want to know, is it possible to get over him and let go while we are still good friends? I can't imagine not knowing him, but I can't imagine him with someone else! I can however imagine me with someone else. ]]> Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:40:41 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment339885 ]]> Sun, 12 Oct 2008 20:25:43 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment302897
Thank you for leaving your comment here, I know that it will serve to help someone else.

Anne]]> Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:10:57 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment302893
I think you hit the nail on the head when you sais this : 'No matter what I do, there will not be a good end to this relationship ... I need to find a way to really move on without thinking back and constanly try to patch stuff up.'

I couldn't have said this better myself.

It's not about an issue of culture, this man simply does not feel the same way about you, as you do for him.

The moment you accept this, and stop thinking that you can show him that you can be good for him, the faster this fiasco will end.

One day you'll find someone who loves you the way you're prepared to love them, and you'll look back and think about what a fool you've been. Your self-esteem seems to be very low.

Enroll in a class to learn something new. A new language, a skill, anything! Elevating your knowledge/skill will serve as a spring board to making you build up your confidence and esteem.

Do this quickly and stop going back to feast on your own vomit.

Hope you allow yourself to get past this.]]> Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:08:03 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment300755 I\'m back again. In regards to my Aug. 15th post I have some more things I need to work through. I made it a good month and a half of not contacting my ex before I fell through again. I was feeling bad for the way it ended and I contacted him asking him telling him I wish we could have ended on better terms and to see if he\'d like to be friends. He wrote back later that afternoon and said he agreed and would like to meet up to talk that night. We met up and he talked about the last 3 years of the relationship. He said I was wrong in my assumption about his family and that at the beginning of our relationship he really wanted us to work out among other things we discussed. He also said he was thinking about stuff last week and wanted to call me. I guess I beat him to it though. He then told me that next week would be his last week here for work. I live in WA and he lives in CA but he is here temporarily on a project for work. I was touched by how he remembered certain things about our relationship and I noticed it was his birthday on mon (yesterday) I got the idea that since it was his bday and last week here I could take him out and do something nice as friends. Well after he dropped me off after our talk I texted him and said to call me if he wanted to hang out next week and got no response. I texted again last weekend and still no response. I called him after work yesterday wished him happy birthday and asked if he wanted to go out but he said he was just going to go to the gym with his friends and mentioned something about how he\'d be busy wed as well. He didn\'t even thank me for my nice gesture and started acting like a jerk again and said I was wrong for getting upset when he started up again after I thought we patched stuff up. I hung up and he called me later that night and I blew up at him telling him that it seemed he only wanted to be nice to me when I ignored him. Anne, to me it doesn\'t make any sense. I don\'t believe he was truly sorry b/c he wouldn\'t have acted rude on the phone when I offered to take him out. Atleast he could have told me politley that he didn\'t think it was a good idea for us to hang out if that\'s how he felt. I think he was being a jerk to relay that to me instead coming out and being honest. I really feel like the apology was for himself so that he could get rid of his guilty conscience of what happened in the past and he really didn\'t care that he hurt me. I also feel like he did this b/c I stopped paying attention to him and by him acting like a jerk he\'ll regain my attention. I am just working on accepting that no matter what I do there will not be a good ending to this and that I need to find a way to really move on without thinking back and constantly try to patch stuff up.]]> Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:46:05 PST http://www.beyondjane.com/Relationships/Dating/10-Sure-Ways-to-Get-Over-Him.176041#comment259417
all make sense..

when it comes to loving a man..women ten to rely on feelings rather than brain..while feelings are not always reliable..and we get dpressed from eating up our feelings..

i'm deeply heartbroken but i have decided to move on gracefully..
my ex broke up with me with excuse that he's too young to settle down..that he's not into marriage and having kids..and that i was the best thing ever happened in his life but i deserved much better man..not a young unstable man like him..

but less than 2 months post our break up i heard he married a woman whom he has known for only few days..

can you imagine how i feel?
he didnt only break my heart..he grabbed my heart out of my chest..put it in a blender and drank it as smothie..

however i refuse to feel miserable over him so i'm moving on
i find this advice very soothing and helpful..

thank you so much..
people who share their thoughts and help others feel better are so awesome

love
Summer

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